So, she moved out. Yeah. Big deal. Actually a very big deal in my book. My roommate for 15 years has up and left me. I don't even hardly know what to do with myself. I have spread all of my things out in my room to fill the empty space, but now it just looks... well, big and spread out and still empty. My room was actually a disaster even after she left. A Surprise. Yes, yes I know, I didn't jump right onto cleaning up the tornado that had so often hit. And if you know me it would seem like a task that I would be eager to take on. But, I let everything just sit on the ground. Me with it all, feeling confused and unsure of what to do with it all. My mom finally kicked me in the butt and told me to start cleaning. Something she has hardly ever had to do with me.
It is the nights that are the weirdest. I used to wait up until 12 or sometimes even 1 for her to come home, and then we would watch t.v. or or talk or sometimes even bring me food like ice cream or something doughy because she knows that's what I love or she would come and scoot me over and fall asleep on my twin bed with me. Those were the best and the worst nights all at the same time. But on that last night that she was still truly living at home I waited up until 2 . I wouldn't go to sleep. It was our last night and we had to go out with a bang. And so finally she came home so we talked a little.... a lot. Watched 7 brides for 7 brothers. And then went and played a round of Nintendo 64 Mario Party. And you know what? We did go off with a bang.
The next morning, we packed all of her things into her car and me and my mom went with her and watched her start to put together her new home. We said a cheery goodbye and were off. There were no tears until that night however, at 2am hit and I realized she wasn't going to be coming home. The words my mom had said after out goodbye had finally hit me.
BACKGROUND CHECK:
Recently me and my mom had a Harry Potter marathon. A re-read-re-watch. Read a book, watch a movie and so on.
She said: In the 7th Harry Potter, I really loved how JK said that once Harry leaves the house for good (this final time) he leaves the charm of his mothers protection forever.
So now at night I think of things that I could do the next day, or hang upside down on my new big bed that feels like it will swallow me, or press the end button on my phone a million times only to find that no one has texted me.
I only hope that i will get into a better routine. But, I know that things will never be the same, in my house and especially in my heart, because as I w=once said on my good friend Facebook, 'The only thing that could ever make me happy just walked out the door.' and this time, I am going to add 'forever.'
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