Damn Bathrooms.

Come on. Can the freaking school have a little bit of intelligence? Put the mens and women's restrooms on the same side throughout the entire school. I swear. They are different at everyone and it's completely killing me. When I have to go, I don't want to have to stand outside and read every time. Embarrassing? Yes. Like today. I had to hurry because I was supposed to be at a practice during lunch. So I was running down the hall, and to my dismay found myself in the men's side. Yes, my friend Kelsey did have to run in a little ways to pull me out. Really? Ah.

Damn Bathrooms.

This Is The Plan

So, I took 'The Plan' yesterday. Can I say ew? It was awful. A big waste of time really. I walked out of the Chinese room finally at the end of lunch and was like, what was that? We spent the longest time reading directions. Funniest directions ever I think. I mean, other than my dads friends climbing directions. Did you know that you can't use a calculator on any part of the test except math, or else you will get kicked out of the test. Crap! I freaking used my calculator on the English section of the test! Kill me! I mean, how does that even work. And going on about the calculator, there were about 20 requirements on what your calculator needed, and what it couldn't have. Also, it was strictly against the rules to 'run off' with a test booklet. All I can see in my head is someone jumping up in the middle of the test and bolting off with a test booklet clutched in his arms. What makes makes a book a booklet anyways? The worst part of the test was the last section. Science. Puke all over me. I didn't know what any of the questions were asking me. I started thinking eff, eff, eff, eff. So I filled in the 'F' bubble. I just did a random fill in. I ended up trying to spell out words. Fun? Yes. Anyways. We will see how 'The Plan' actually turns out for me.

The Girl in the Mirror

I was walking home from a voice lesson and it was kind of dark and shady outside. And I saw this puddle in the ditch that kind of called to me. So I leaned over and my reflection was so clear. Mainly just my outline, but I could see the sky and the trees behind me. So I ran inside and grabbed my camera. As I was taking the picture, I started to think about something that is probably a constant wonder to most of us. How people see me.

When I look into the mirror while I am putting my contacts in, in the early morning, I see one of two things depending how I have been feeling. I look into my eyes and reach down into my soul and see so much potential and drive and an underlying beauty just waiting to dance for someone. Or I see nothing. No potential. No drive. An underlying piece of crap. When I am feeling that internal beauty, it doesn't really matter to me what people are thinking, or what I wish or want or know they are thinking. I feel like just myself. A perfect Amelia. But when I am not, I walk down the hall, and I can't help but look into others eyes and wonder what they are thinking. Do they see potential? Do they see beauty? Do they see someone great? Or someone they know? Or am I easy to pass by. An outline like my reflection in the water. A figure or shape that is just walking past.

I want to make a lasting impression on people. I want to be someone who they will remember the face and the spirit, instead of just the outline.

The Bird Man

I don't know why. But I can never get tired of seeing this commercial. It makes me so so happy. This man is brilliant. I am going to build a birdhouse now I think.

I want a bird man.

Dreams, Music and My Life.

It's weird to look back at your life and notice patterns. With me, the patterns come in music, and dreaming. Sometimes for weeks on end I will have the same dream, over and over again. And, eventually when I leave that stage or phase in my life, the dream will change. When nothing is happening, I dream randomly. The same goes with music. I will listen to one person for the phase, and then, once it's over, the music depresses me.

Right now, the music is all Jack Johnson. I love him. He is good to wake up to, go to sleep to, or do anything to really. My dream? I would call it, very unique. But, what dream isn't, right? Pretty much, me and my boyfriend battle and defeat dinosaurs together. Then, he kisses me and I wake up. Over and Over. It never really gets boring. Trust me. The boy? I hate to say it, but, he pretty much changes every night. So, yes. I might have been dreaming about you last night. And we pretty much smashed those dinosaurs together, just saying.

I don't know what is happening in my life that is causing all of this right now. I will probably figure it out when it's over. But, I am liking it. So, I think I will stay here for a while.

The Future Husband

It was the third hour it church. I was almost done. Just one more. I walked into the classroom and saw 'Future Husband' written on the board. So I turned around, and walked out of the room. Don't worry, I decided to go back. Just. The idea of talking about husbands right now? I mean, I have had this lesson a million times, but this time I just didn't want to hear it. So when I went in for the second time, I had my Sudoku book in my hand.

We started off by taking a little quiz. A 'what do you want your man to be like' quiz. The questions were like; What are his special skills? What are his talents/hobbies/interests? What are his physical traits? What is his spiritual preparation like? What kind of education does he have? What are some career goals? Questions like that. Everyone was bent over their papers scribbling down their 'answers' and I was just sitting there. So I started to put down things like; Skills? Good kisser. Physical traits? Tall, dark and handsome. Spiritual preparation? My preference would be he came from heaven, but whatever really. Crap like that. I looked over at Erin's paper and under interests she had, 'in me'. ha. yeah. exactly.

Everyone starting sharing what they put down. He needs to be loving, and happy and supportive. It doesn't matter what he looks like really because it's whats on the inside .... blah blah blah. I decided that no one would really appreciate my joking answers, so I flipped over my paper and started to write something new.

- He likes to do puzzles

- likes to watch me study

- finds me completely fascinating

- loves to go to museums

- loves to go on walks

- likes to read

- easy going (the opposite of me)

- likes to wear sweaters (I love sweaters)

- who I can laugh around

- who I can sing around

- who I can dance around

- who I can eat around

- I can ask him questions

- who will try the tea I drink

- who teaches me how to play his sport

- who teases me about 30% of the time, and the rest he praises me

I think I could keep going. But, I think you get the point. I understood what everyone was saying in the room, I just don't like the idea of husbands yet. I mean, I haven't even ever had a boyfriend. I might just skip it all actually, and go adventuring instead. Maybe you can come. But if I really do have to do all of this, I just want someone that will make me happy. And content. That is all I am really looking for. Is satisfaction.